The story behind this song
Sixty years old and he still takes the corner slice while announcing "just a small one." Still claps when the plane lands, still waves at every dog, still patrols the thermostat like it owes him money. The dad jokes haven't improved — they've compounded, and everyone groans because that's the law.
Underneath the roast is the real arithmetic: he fixed everything anyone broke and never sent the bill, taught them to drive a stick and shake a hand and mean it, and showed up rain or shine or worse. Everything good in this family, it got watching him. For the dad turning sixty who'll wave the whole thing away — so they're saying it loud while the grill's still going.
Lyrics
Somebody guard the thermostat
Still clap when the plane lands, still wave at every dog
Your jokes have not improved, Dad — they've compounded over time
And we groan because we love you — that's the law
And you grilled through every one
King of the grill, lord of the recliner throne
You earned the gray, you earned the rest, you earned this rowdy crowd
Sixty years young, old man —
Best sixty years this family's ever known
Fixed everything we broke and never once sent us the bill
Taught us how to drive a stick, how to shake a hand and mean it
How to show up — rain, or shine, or worse
And you showed up for every one
King of the grill, lord of the recliner throne
You earned the gray, you earned the rest, you earned this rowdy crowd
Sixty years young, old man —
Best sixty years this family's ever known
Everything good in us — we got it watching you
Now flip the burgers, take a bow
King of the grill, lord of the recliner throne
You earned the gray, you earned the rest, you earned this rowdy crowd
Sixty years young, old man —
Best sixty years this family's ever known
And the next sixty are on us
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