Anniversary Gift Ideas for Your Daughter and Son-in-Law

An anniversary gift for your daughter and son-in-law is a small balancing act. It has to be for both of them, not just the child you raised, and it has to fit the life they are building. The best ones give them either time, like a night away or a weekend of babysitting, or a keepsake of the marriage itself. Here are 12 ideas that do one or the other. Our top pick is a song about their story, because it honors both of them equally.

Hear a Songbond anniversary song

This one was made for another family. Yours would carry their names and your stories.

12 anniversary gift ideas for your daughter and son-in-law

1. A song about their years together ($39.90). You share how they met, the wedding day and what you have watched them build since, and Songbond turns it into an original song. Include a story about him, not just her, so he hears himself in it too.
2. The grandkids at your house for a weekend. If they have children, take them for two nights. For many young parents, this is worth more than anything you could wrap.
3. Two nights away, already booked. A cabin, an inn or a hotel in a nearby city, with the confirmation tucked inside the card. $200 to $400.
4. A watercolor of their wedding venue. The church, the barn or the backyard where they said their vows, painted from a photo. $50 to $150.
5. The guests' phone photos, in one album. Ask the wedding guests to send the candid shots from their phones, and print the best in a small book. Most couples have never seen half of them. $30 to $60.
6. Your wedding photo beside theirs. A double frame with your wedding day on one side and theirs on the other. $30 to $60.
7. Something from your own marriage, passed down. Your cake knife, the good serving platter or the quilt from your first home. Add a note about where it came from.
8. The traditional gift for their year. Paper for the first, cotton for the second, leather for the third, wood for the fifth, tin for the tenth. It gives you a theme and a story to tell in the card.
9. A letter about watching them marry. Write down what you saw on the wedding day: how he looked at her at the end of the aisle, what went through your mind during the vows. Parents rarely say this out loud.
10. A sunset boat cruise for two. Or a dinner train, or a hot-air balloon, depending on where they live. Usually $60 to $150 each.
11. A job done around their house. Paint the spare room, fix the fence, build the garden bed. If you are handy, your time is the gift.
12. A house cleaner for a day. A deep clean they did not have to arrange. Couples juggling jobs and small children tend to love this one. $100 to $200.

How to choose for a married child

Think about what stage of life they are in. Newlyweds, new parents and couples ten years in need very different things. When in doubt, ask your daughter quietly what they have been short on lately: time, money or sleep.

• If they are newly married: the guests' photo album, the traditional gift or the song.
• If they have young children: the grandkids at your house, the house cleaner or the booked nights away.
• If they are well settled: something passed down, the watercolor or the double frame.

Write the card to both of them

It is easy to address an anniversary card to your daughter, add his name as an afterthought, and write only about her. Turn it around. Mention something you have come to love about him since the wedding: the way he stays to help clear the table, or the way he always calls on your birthday. Sign it from both parents if you can. Sons-in-law notice when they are included, and so do daughters. The same rule applies to a song or a letter. Give each of them at least one line that is only about them.

Give them a song about their marriage

Create an anniversary song for your daughter and son-in-law with both their names and the story of their marriage. It is ready within 24 hours, and express delivery gets it to you in about an hour if the anniversary is today.

Also in the Journal: first anniversary songs and a custom song as an anniversary gift.