Gifts for an Elderly Woman Who Has Everything

She has the good china, a closet of cardigans and a drawer of scarves still in their tissue paper. When an elderly woman has everything, the best gift is something she cannot buy in a shop: a piece of her own past, your time, or a small luxury she stopped allowing herself years ago. Here are 12 ideas for a woman in her 80s or 90s who insists she needs nothing. Our honest top pick is a song about her life, because it gives her something new without adding one more thing to dust.

Listen to a real Songbond song

This one was made for another family. Yours would carry her name and your stories.

12 gift ideas for an elderly woman who has everything

1. A song about the life she has lived ($39.90). You share where she grew up, how she met her husband, the dish everyone begs her to make and the phrase she always says. Songbond turns it into an original song, ready within 24 hours. It takes up no shelf space, and she can play it for every visitor who asks.
2. The perfume she wore when she was young. Many classic scents are still made. Ask her sister or an old friend what she wore in her twenties, then find a small bottle. Usually $40 to $120, and the first spray can bring back whole years.
3. Flowers that match her wedding bouquet. Find her wedding photo, show it to a florist and ask for the same flowers in a small arrangement for her side table. Usually $50 to $100.
4. Her family tree, on her side. Most family trees follow the husband's name. Trace her maiden line back three or four generations and print it on one large sheet. It can cost nothing but your evenings, or $50 to $150 for a printed chart.
5. A taste of her hometown. Order the candy, cookies or preserves from the town where she grew up, the ones she still mentions. Usually $30 to $70 for a small box.
6. Her pearls or favorite necklace, restrung and cleaned. Old strings stretch and clasps wear out, so the jewelry she loves most often sits in a drawer. A jeweler can restring pearls for around $40 to $100.
7. One room made fresh. New curtains, a pair of cushions and a warmer lamp in the room where she sits every day. Usually $100 to $300, and she sees it every morning.
8. A lap desk for letters and crosswords. A cushioned tray with a raised edge so pens do not roll off onto the floor. Usually $30 to $60.
9. A private concert in her living room. Hire a local violinist, pianist or singer to play her favorite old songs for half an hour. Invite two of her friends. Expect $100 to $250.
10. A matinee with you. A ballet, a choir or an orchestra in the afternoon, when she has the most energy. Book aisle seats near the door. Usually $30 to $80 a ticket.
11. A cotton nightgown and robe that feel expensive. Soft, light and easy to put on. Usually $40 to $90 for the pair, and she would never buy them for herself.
12. A shopping morning with a granddaughter. One grandchild, a small budget and lunch afterwards. The outing matters more than the bag she comes home with.

How to choose for a woman who wants nothing

When someone has everything, look for what she has lost rather than what she lacks: a scent, a place, a habit, a person she sees less often. Then be honest about how much energy she has for outings this year.

• If she still loves going out: the matinee, the shopping morning or the private concert.
• If she mostly stays home: the fresh room, the lap desk or the taste of her hometown.
• If she loves to talk about the old days: the perfume, the family tree or the song.

How to gather her stories without an interview

Many women of her generation will not talk about themselves if you ask directly. Bring a photo album instead and point at one picture at a time. Ask who took it, what she was wearing and what happened after. You will hear about the dance hall, the first apartment and the neighbor who taught her to sew. Write down the small things. Words like loving and kind are true of most grandmothers. What makes a song hers is the nickname her husband used, the way she answers the phone or the cookie tin that is never empty.

Give her a song about her life

Make a song about her life. Share her stories, and it is ready within 24 hours. If you are visiting tomorrow, express delivery gets it to you in about an hour.

Also in the Journal: songs for Grandparents Day and Mother's Day songs for Grandma.