Gift Ideas for Someone Who Is Grieving

Someone you love is grieving, and the weeks after the funeral are when it gets quiet. A good gift for someone grieving either gives comfort for the long evenings or keeps the person they lost a little closer. These 12 ideas are for that stretch, weeks or months after the loss, when most people have gone back to normal. If you knew the person who died, the gift they will likely treasure most is one that holds that person's face, voice or stories.

Hear how a remembrance song sounds

This one was made for another family. Yours would carry the name of the person they miss, and your stories.

12 gift ideas for someone who is grieving

1. Home movies, digitized. Old tapes and camcorder cassettes, moved to a phone and a backup drive. Hearing the person laugh again can be a shock, but usually a welcome one. Usually $50 to $150.
2. Six weeks of a class, side by side. Pottery, watercolor or woodworking, one evening a week for six weeks. It gets them out of the house, and their hands are busy while you talk, or while you do not.
3. A puzzle printed with their photo. Pick a picture with the person in it, at a happy moment. It fills an evening slowly and ends with that face on the table. Usually $30 to $50.
4. A song about the one they miss ($39.90). You share the name, the stories and the phrases they always said, and Songbond turns them into an original song. They can play it when they want to feel close, and leave it when they do not.
5. An audiobook membership. Reading can feel impossible when focus is gone, but listening at night is easier. Usually around $15 a month.
6. Fingerprint jewelry. A pendant or ring engraved with the loved one's fingerprint. Funeral homes can often provide the print if you ask soon. Usually $60 to $200.
7. Flowers once a month. A small bunch each month for three months, arriving after the funeral flowers are long gone. Usually $30 to $50 each.
8. A massage. Grief lives in the shoulders and the jaw. A gift certificate gives them an hour where nobody asks how they are. Usually $60 to $120.
9. Something to look forward to. Tickets to a concert, a show or a day trip a few months out. It puts a date on the calendar that is not a hard one.
10. A grief group, found and a ride offered. Look up a local group through a hospice, a church or the library, and offer to drive them to the first meeting. It costs nothing, and the first step is the hardest.
11. A sunrise alarm clock. Grief scrambles sleep. A clock that brightens slowly before the alarm makes early mornings a little gentler. Usually $40 to $80.
12. A simple cookbook for one. For someone who has lost a spouse, cooking for one is a daily reminder. A book of easy single-portion meals helps. Usually $15 to $25.

How to choose a gift for someone grieving

Ask yourself how they grieve. Some people want to talk about the person constantly, and gifts that hold memories are right. Others need rest and distraction first, and the memories can wait. If you knew the person who died, share a memory of your own in the card either way.

• If they want to talk about the person: the home movies, the photo puzzle or the song.
• If they are not sleeping: the audiobook membership, the sunrise clock or the massage.
• If they are alone a lot: the class, the grief group or the monthly flowers.

Say the name out loud

After the person themselves, what grieving people often miss most is hearing that person's name. Friends stop using it because they worry it will cause pain. It usually does the opposite. When you give your gift, include one sentence that names who died and says something true about them: “Carol would have finished this puzzle in a day. She never let one beat her.” Weeks later, mention them again, in passing. You are not reminding your friend of the loss. They have not forgotten for a second. You are telling them someone else remembers too.

A way to keep their stories

When you are ready, create a song in memory of the person they miss. It is ready within 24 hours, or in about an hour with express delivery.

Also in the Journal: thinking of you songs and the first Christmas without a loved one.

More personal gift guides

• Sentimental Gifts for a Mom Who Lost a Loved One