Memorial Gift Ideas for the Loss of a Daughter

When a family loses a daughter, people often send flowers and then fall silent, afraid of saying the wrong thing. A memorial gift for the loss of a daughter should say one thing clearly: she mattered, and she will be remembered. The 11 ideas below include keepsakes for her parents, something for her brothers and sisters, and ways to keep her birthday. Our honest top pick is a simple locket with her photo, because her mother can carry her every day.

Hear a song that was made in memory of someone

This one was made for another family. Yours would carry her name and your stories.

11 memorial gift ideas for the loss of a daughter

1. A locket with her photo. Small enough to wear under a sweater, with room for one photo or a curl of hair. Usually $40 to $200.
2. Wildflower seeds with her name on the packet. Handed out at the service, so friends can go home and plant something for her. Printed packets usually cost $1 to $2 each.
3. A song about her. You share her name, what she was like at five and at fifteen, and the sayings the family still repeats, and Songbond turns it into an original song ($39.90). Some parents keep it for her birthday and play it with the people who loved her.
4. A team for a walk or run in her name. Gather her friends, print shirts with her name, and walk a charity 5K together. Entry fees are usually $30 to $60 each.
5. A wind chime engraved with her name. It rings when the breeze picks up, and some parents say it feels like a hello. Usually $50 to $150.
6. Books for the library with a bookplate. Donate copies of the books she loved to her school or town library, each with a bookplate in her name. Usually $15 to $25 a book.
7. Something small for her siblings. Brothers and sisters are often left out of the cards. A stuffed animal, a notebook or a photo of them with her, addressed to each of them by name.
8. A journal for her mother. A plain, well-made notebook with a note inside suggesting she write a letter to her daughter once a week. Usually $15 to $30.
9. A charm bracelet that grows. Start it with her initial, and add one charm on each birthday. The bracelet and first charm are usually $40 to $100.
10. A stepping stone her friends decorate. A mosaic kit her friends make together one afternoon, which the family sets in the garden. Usually $20 to $40.
11. Her best photo, printed large. Ask the family which picture looks most like her and have it printed on canvas for the living room. Usually $40 to $120.

How to choose for her family

Think about who the gift is really for. Her parents, her siblings and her friends are grieving different losses, and one gift will not reach all of them.

• If it is for her mother or father: the locket, the journal or the song.
• If it is for her brothers and sisters: something small with their own name on it, or the stepping stone.
• If it is for her friends and wider circle: the seed packets, the charity walk or the library books.

Keeping her birthday

Her birthday keeps coming, and the first one can be harder than the funeral. Some families find it helps to keep the day instead of dreading it. Bake the cake she always asked for. Go to her favorite place. Add a charm to the bracelet. Ask her friends to share a photo of her that morning. If you are a friend of the family, send a card on her birthday that says you are thinking of her. Most people only remember the day she died, and a birthday card tells her parents that you remember the day she arrived.

A song in her memory

Make a memorial song for their daughter. Tell us her name and the stories the family loves, and it is ready within 24 hours. If the service or her birthday is close, express delivery gets it to you in about an hour.

Also in the Journal: memorial songs for a child and songs for a celebration of life.