Memorial Gift Ideas for the Loss of a Father

Losing a father changes the shape of a family. The man who fixed things, drove everyone to the airport or told the same three jokes at every dinner is suddenly not there. A good memorial gift for the loss of a father honors the man he was in a way his family will recognize. Here are 11 ideas, from a lantern for his grave to an afternoon of help with the paperwork. Our gentlest pick is a photo of him at the age his child is now, framed.

Hear a memorial song from Songbond

This one was made for another family. Yours would carry his name and your stories.

11 memorial gift ideas for the loss of a father

1. A photo of him at their age. Ask relatives to search old albums for a picture of their dad at the age they are now. Seeing him young, at the same point in life, is something most people never get. $20 to $50 to frame.
2. An engraved stone for his yard. Engraved with his name and a line he used to say. It can sit in the yard he mowed every Saturday. $30 to $70.
3. His garden, planted again. If he grew tomatoes or peppers, save the seeds or buy the same variety and plant them together in the spring. $0 to $30.
4. A song about the man he was ($39.90). You share his name, his jokes, his work and the way he said goodbye, and Songbond turns them into an original song. It gives the family something to play when they want to feel close to him.
5. A jersey with his name on the back. His team's colors, with his name and his birth year as the number. For the dad who never missed a game. $80 to $150.
6. A print of the place he loved most. The lake he fished, the ballpark, the mountain road he drove every fall. $40 to $100.
7. A night with his friends and their stories. Invite his old coworkers, fishing buddies and neighbors for an evening, and ask each one to bring a story. Record it if the family wants to keep it.
8. Help with the paperwork. Death certificates, bank letters, the car title, the phone plan. Offer an afternoon at the kitchen table with a folder and a pen. It is one of the most useful things anyone can do.
9. A solar lantern for his grave or the porch. It turns on by itself at dusk and glows through the evening. $30 to $60.
10. His flag in a display case, if he served. A wooden case for the folded flag from his service, with a small plate for his name and branch. $50 to $120.
11. Breakfast at his usual diner on his birthday. Take the family to the booth he always sat in and order what he always ordered. $20 to $40 a person.

How to choose for a grieving family

Listen to the stories the family keeps telling about him. They point to the gift. If they talk about his garden, plant it. If they talk about his friends, gather them. If they talk about how he handled every bill and form, help with the paperwork.

• If he loved the outdoors: his garden planted again, the print of his favorite place or the engraved stone.
• If he was the family storyteller: the night with his friends, the photo at their age or the song.
• If he served or lived for his team: the flag case or the jersey with his name.

Remember the dates that come later

The funeral is often not the hardest day. The hard days come later: his first birthday without him, the first Father's Day, the first holiday when the family gathers and his chair is empty. Put those dates in your calendar now. A text on Father's Day that says "I am thinking about your dad today" takes ten seconds and is rarely forgotten. If you plan to give a keepsake, one of those days can be a gentler moment than the week of the funeral, when the house is full and everything is a blur.

Remember him in a song

If you would like to, you can create a memorial song for a father with his name and the stories your family tells about him. It is ready within 24 hours, and express delivery takes about an hour if you need it for a service or a gathering.

Also in the Journal: memorial songs for Dad and tribute songs for a father.