Memorial Gift Ideas for the Loss of a Son

There is nothing you can give that fixes the loss of a son, and his parents know that. What a memorial gift can do is tell them he is remembered, by name, by people outside the family. The 11 ideas below range from a few dollars to a lasting award in his name. If you are unsure where to start, our honest top pick is a box of photos of him from his friends' phones, because they are pictures his parents have never seen.

Hear a song made to remember someone

This one was made for another family. Yours would carry his name and your stories.

11 memorial gift ideas for the loss of a son

1. Photos his parents have never seen. His friends, teammates and coworkers have pictures of him on their phones. Collect them, print them and put them in a plain box with a note. Printing 50 photos is usually under $30.
2. His jersey or team shirt in a frame. A shadow box keeps it flat, clean and out of the closet. Framing is usually $80 to $200.
3. An ornament with his name. Something to hang every December, so he is part of the tree each year. Usually $20 to $40.
4. A song about him. Share his nickname, the way he laughed, the thing he always said on his way out the door, and Songbond turns it into an original song ($39.90). Some parents play it at the service. Others keep it for his birthday.
5. An award or scholarship in his name. At his school, his team or the trade he loved. Even a small yearly award of $250 means a young person hears his name every spring.
6. A birthstone piece for his mother. A ring or pendant with his birthstone, simple enough to wear every day. Usually $40 to $150.
7. A candle for his birthday. A large pillar candle with his name, or a lantern for the porch, lit each year on the day. Usually $25 to $60.
8. A drawing from when he was small, framed. The crayon picture that lived on the fridge or a card he made for Mother's Day, framed properly so it lasts. Usually $40 to $120.
9. A month of house cleaning. Grief leaves no energy for floors and laundry. A cleaning service is usually $150 to $400 a month, and it helps without asking anything of them.
10. A bear sewn from his clothes. A soft bear made from his hoodie or a favorite T-shirt, for his mother or his younger brothers and sisters. Usually $60 to $120.
11. A visit on the hard days. Put his birthday and the date he died in your calendar, and call or show up on both, every year. It costs nothing and it is never forgotten.

How to choose a gift for grieving parents

Start with how close you are to the family. Close friends and relatives can give something personal. Coworkers and neighbors often do more good with practical help and a card that names him.

• If they are close to you: the photos from his friends, the framed drawing or the song.
• If you know them less well: the cleaning service, the ornament or the birthday candle.
• If they want him remembered beyond the family: the award in his name.

Say his name

Most people worry that mentioning a son will remind his parents that he is gone. They have not forgotten for a second. What they fear is that everyone else will. In the card, write his name, not your loss. Add one thing you remember about him, even something small: the way he held the door, the terrible jokes, the summer he mowed your lawn. Then, months later, say his name again, out loud. It costs nothing, and it may be the gift they remember longest.

A song in his memory

If you would like to create a song in memory of their son, share his name and a few of the stories you hold. It is ready within 24 hours, and when the service is close, express delivery gets it to you in about an hour.

Also in the Journal: memorial songs for a child and songs for the first anniversary of a death.