Dirty Thirty, Best Friend

Okay, okay, everybody quiet — The legend turns thirty tonight Survived the bangs of 2015, we don't speak of those Survived that ex we all hated — yeah, we told you so Got the polaroids in a shoebox no one's allowed to see Got a matching tattoo that somehow aged beautifully Ten years of bad ideas And you made every one with me Dirty thirty, best friend — raise it up, raise it up Ten wild years behind us and we never once grew up You answered every 2 a.m., you never missed a call Dirty thirty, best friend Here's to thirty more — just as dumb, just as loud, that's all You danced on tables we should not have been standing on You held my hair, I held your secrets — that's the marathon Now we've got jobs and houseplants, look at us, all grown But put our song on one more time and watch the table moan Ten years of bad ideas And you made every one with me Dirty thirty, best friend — raise it up, raise it up Ten wild years behind us and we never once grew up You answered every 2 a.m., you never missed a call Dirty thirty, best friend Here's to thirty more — just as dumb, just as loud, that's all They say your thirties are for settling down Baby, we settled this years ago: Wherever you go, I go Now somebody get the sparklers Dirty thirty, best friend — raise it up, raise it up Ten wild years behind us and we never once grew up You answered every 2 a.m., you never missed a call Dirty thirty, best friend Here's to thirty more — just as dumb, just as loud, that's all Thirty looks criminal on you Now blow it out and start the trouble